aniwae, today im in this hui3 guang3 fan3 zhao4 mood.

i noe i've blogged about transfering school before, but that's a long time ago. i shall look back once more! talking to mark ong (my sji senior), made me realise how much i've matured in some way or another after transfering school. i mean, as i said before, transfering school was really just a challenge to myself to see whether i would be able to adapt and stand out. and it seriously isn't as easy as what u guys think kaez? it's not farnie to end up in some strange environment, a totally new one. i can't forget the first day of school, i was literally BEGGING YUJAY to go to school wif me lah. i seriously will DIE if i went alone, i dun even noe where my class is HAHA. aniwae, my point is it's hard. besides, the intimidating environment, SOME people obviously doesn't help improve anything.
im like caught in the middle ya? it's ironic that SJI ppl calls me traitor and HCI ppl calls me SJI. lol it's weird. it's pressurizing to some extent and obviously it doesn't help lah! and if i was those pessimist or someone who take everything to heart, i tink i would be in the mortuary already lol. yes GUYS -wakey wakey- it's not helping -.- but aniwae, i guess im coping reasonably well. i've friends now, lots of good ones. people who im beginning to trust, slowly but surely and it's great to have them around.
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talking to mark ong and trying to motivate him (er though his my rival) made me realise how self-motivated i am when it comes to canoeing. and in the process of talking to him, it made me more clear on who i am, and what kind of person i am. i guess onli mark and i will understand. it was a real good chat and as i said then, u're the last person i want to see crying after ur race. coz i noe how hard u've tried. so have i.
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aniwae, after hearing all those murmurs, i guess i gotta do some self-evaluation. maybe i've been wearing many masks. people who know me well won't question my character lah. but aniwae, if u ppl haven't already realised, im those kind of ppl who express my feelings better on paper then verbally. oh wait, i seriously forgot wad i wanted to say lah, my mind was swirling wif a vortex of thoughts but ya it just went blank. aniwae, from today onwards, i shall just be 100% myself. i won't be wearing any more masks of deceit. i'll just be as truthful as i am, and as genuine as i can be. that i promise myself. and u all too.

"The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me."

food for thought! (lol i enjoy reading quotable quotes! yay im geekish.)

What is maturity -
Knowing myself.
Asking for help when I need it and acting on my own when I don't.
Admitting when I'm wrong and making amends.
Accepting love from others, even if I'm having a tough time loving myself.
Recognizing that I always have choices, and taking responsibility for the ones I make.
Seeing that life is a blessing.
Having an opinion without insisting that others share it.
Forgiving myself and others.
Recognizing my shortcomings and my strengths.
Having the courage to live one day at a time.
Acknowledging that my needs are my responsibility.
Caring for people without having to take care of them.
Accepting that I'll never be finished -- I'll always be a work-in-progress.

Some signs and symptoms of inner peace:
A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.
(dun have)
An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
(have)
A loss of interest in judging other people.
(have)
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
(have)
A loss of interest in conflict.
(have)
A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom).
(dun have)
Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
(have)
Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
(have)
Frequent attacks of smiling.
(and laughing. HAVE)
An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
(have)
An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.
(have)

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." -- Albert Einstein

my principle in life is simple. just live life to the fullest and do what makes me happy, and of course to make people happy too. each smile i can put on ur faces, lights up my life. this i mean, from the bottom of my heart.

i won't regret it.
thank you
for everything.