spend bout 3+ hours on differentiation in the afternoon but i still get stuck at almost all the past year questions which is obviously very undesirable. but im trying more than i ever had, and it's one step towards fulfilling my goal to lead by example. i'm sure if i can get A for maths someday, my dear classmates can see its not impossible (tho nearly in my case haha).

anyway strange how i suddenly become friends with zhili lol. but oh heck it's not easy to find a before-abvramovic era chelsea supporter. and the obsession in the soccer team to force their way into the starting XI next year's nationals is ditzying. everyone's putting in 200% (which means i've to put in 400% if i stand any chance) into self-training. haha weird how after official training stopped, we're training harder than ever with self-runs and gyming every day. but it's fun with the dudes. so hopefully, i can pick up the momentum in studies and soccer, maintain it all the way to promos.

i dont know why but nights seem lonelier than ever. maybe it's my sister's room' aura (which i've been spending my nights in the past few weeks cos sis german friend and her is occupying my room). the point is i'm finding it so hard to sleep and i really dont know why. i just keep thinking nonstop. it's been a reasonably long time but it hasnt been an easy time for me. these nights i've just been flipping around in bed for a few hours before i become so exhausted i catch half an hour of sleep before waking up and the cycle repeats itself till the sun shines.

i dont know when it'll be but hopefully someday i can slip into the darkness more easily, more comfortably.