absolute disappointment. i've been through this "you could have done better" speech so many times i can barely feel it's effect anymore. i dont know, i'm just speechless.

on the way to the MRI centre, i found myself in Denver's shoes. i selectively turned deaf (with the help of the ipod). mum would enjoy Sentimental comedies for certain. I certainly did not enjoy her moral edifying (preaching) comments, and it irritated me to such a large extent i found myself desperately turning the volume up on my ipod. oh and guess what, i was 15 minutes late for my MRI appointment and the radiologist went home. great. it resulted in a more pissed mum and certainly, a hella frustrated me. dad contributed to nag at times too. the problem with mum is that she loves to compare. the problem with dad is he loves to give such pessimistic comments that are totally unconstructive at all. yet, in line with all Sentimental Comedies (not quite sure whether comedies apply in this context), there is always a good ending(or at least decent one). Dad brought me to get my awesome donuts and Mum, after 1 hour of incessant nagging, gave me some support. In between my ipod and my parents' edifying speeches, all i remember hearing is "treat this as a lesson learnt". when will i learn my lesson i wonder. as the song suggest, i'm sorry i cannot be perfect.

i just am so upset and frustrated. on the way back from dinner, my parents sensed how low i was and took the hint. i am going to break down soon. Sam says when an ENFP collapses, the whole world collapses as well. let's just hope cherrylene can cheer me up abit. it's strange how i look to cherrylene for support. probably cos she's nearby. and certainly, this platonic relationship provides me some relief from my world.

i feel vulnerable as i start to realize how disappointing i've been. and for once, i need a hug badly. but i haven't found that someone who can make me feel better. and i continue to indulge in this melancholy. i apologize in advance for feeling low. and i thank you people who have been trying to console me.

first one to a virtual hug - mel haha. primary school best friend indeed. i cant wait for our HSC chalet.