so i just met up with Dr Brian Lee whom has been my private doctor since young. ah if you dont already know, i broke my right leg while i was er one year old. okay technically speaking, i didnt break my own leg. somehow my maid fell and sat on it. anyway, the result of a lousy screwed up hongkong doctor is a 1.5cm +- difference in my left/right leg.

but to cut the long story short, dr brian lee persuaded my mum that it is imperative to operate on it asap. so i'm going under the knife when i'm back from scotland. lol the following day actually. my mum said the jet lag + anaethesia(i dont know how to spell this word for so damn long already and will continue to do so cos i'm lazy) will make me comatose for life. haha at least she's taking this issue with a heightened level of optimism.

actually, this post is just an attempt to assuage my guilt. since young i've always have been this unlucky with injuries here and there. my medical bill is probably twice that of sis and bro's combined. and dr brian lee is a private doctor. his fees are somewhat, on the high side. but my uncle's good friends with him and hence, the importance of networking in the world today. anyhow dingjie, the imbecile, has resulted in a $15 000(which my uncle will try to bring down) and mounting bill to fix my knee. that's the price of having a private doctor, but a much better and credible one to do my knee for the matter. it's quadruple that of the subsidised NUH one. but then again, the NUH one will ensure that my knee will get man-handled by doctors-in-training. to add to this bill is the physiotherapy fees. he'll be sending me to the ex-Chief physio of our SEA games team. i cant imagine how much she'll command in fees.

sigh. see why i'm feeling guilty now? even when i go out(which has been only like once since the holiday started, that being the chalet) i dont dare to ask for any money. so basically i've been spending out of my pocket alot. thank god the past year have been fruitful with the money coming in from the business competitions lol. but at this rate, i'll never be able to deposit any money and constantly withdrawing (esp to pay for someone's -coughs- shoppings bills) whatever it is, i feel obliged to study very hard as a way to pay back my parents. and of course treat them better. mum's been eye-ing that makeup set for some time.

in short, this episode has made me come to realization that i've yet to grow up. immature and hot-headed i still am. stubborn as well. and amongst many other things, i'll have to slowly overcome. as ghandi says, be the change you want to see (in the world). and the first step to self-improvement lies in recognizing what there is to change. i can do it.

ps. just a little disgressing. suayu's retarded. he wanted to play cards while prawning lol. and ask why prawning is on the emo side. hahah mel, we do indeed need to bring him to open his eyes hahahah. but after which we decided, okay movie's the best. damn i miss that show that suayu made us watch(without any of us having a say in what to watch) Death at a Funeral. which was indeed insanely hillarious.

goodnight my friends.