烦烦烦 that's what i'm feeling now simply. anyway after prowling the internet all day(for the past few days) reading up on anthroscopy, and reconstructing the knee to watching the entire one hour surgery on google video, i'm pretty much a doctor in this aspect. honestly, i think you can put me in the surgery room and i can do the surgery. that's how much i've been reading up on. so i certainly will go for the surgery, but the problem now is when.

talk after pre-As stress. mum has already piled up the pressure of doing well for As on me. she doesnt actually realize it as a matter of fact. she doesnt want me to spend the next 6months focused on rehab and physio resulting in a negligence in studying for As. but i dont think mum really knows how i'm feeling right now.

i'm not one to sit around. and if you know me as a friend, you'd know how much training to play for the school team next year means to me. soccer, itself, is a form of release to me. i've never been exceptional at sports, be it canoeing or soccer, but i dare say i train doubly as hard. yet now, i'm denied of any form of physical activity. it's torturous, and depressing to say the least. mum doesnt know it. i'd do anything to get back to what i love to do as soon as possible. and mum just want me to focus on my studies. but does she know that i'll be so frustrated at being so inactive that i'll not be able to enjoy my days in school? seeing people run, jump, have fun and i'll be sitting there like a stone. no way, sorry mum but no way. at least i'll have something to look forward to after my surgery. like the mini steps i can take, the increasing degree of extension i can make with my knee. the light weights that i can take and so on. sigh but mum, doesnt know. ironically mum allows me to indulge in computer games all day in hope of me not going out to aggravate my knee. silly things we do.

sometimes i wish my mother will secretly read my blog. i'm just so tired of arguing with someone so fixated with her extremist-like opinions that she fails to take in anything. someone tell my mum this url please.