i think i'm having a growing short fuse with mum. i dont know why either, but i feel bad. i guess it takes a conscious effort to be more filial and less rebellious.

anyhow, got the most value-added essay award from madihah??? it's quite lame how 26 is regarded as a marked improvement. lol, it's nice to dream once in a while of getting the 35s that rui an gets all the time. on another hand, it's just 9 more marks. hahaha
but a step at a time! oh and mr wong said i did decent for his assignment. woooot, looks like i can look to lit with more optimism now. haha

my wireless is flickering on and off. gets quite irritating since i'm in between surfing the net and doing work. i wish huangcheng performance was earlier, than i wouldnt have an excuse to slack.

so, had lunch today with louis. it's nice to have these catch-up lunches now and then with the friends. the one that matter. and it's only with these people that you get to hear what others wouldnt tell you. it's in a good way i suppose. lol, and nice to see that louis and kim are still going strong. funny how they interact with each other, but endearing at the same time. and i realized how this sort of friendships will be sorely missed after my school life ends.

i dont know why my thoughts are so random and disjointed. i think i need to spend one of these days under a tree and just stoning, and perhaps, in a figurative manner of course, listening to myself. i dont know exactly what that constitutes though. i just need to sit down and calm myself. i'm not exactly in a state of tranquility like i (think) i used to be. in a sense, i think i'm losing myself. as for to what, i dont know either.

it's disorienting trying to read my 'stream of consciousness'. the clock is ticking as i consciously while away my time. methinks i'm feeling lethargic from schooling. (yet i'm amazed at how my classmates can treat school like a resort, coming for lessons as and when they want to lol! it's funny la, but i wonder how they are going to cope.)

good night. i need to bury my head in herland again.