the female invigilator for our econs paper was... i'm at a lost for words. when she said "arts dont need so many paper right?" i almost blurted out an expletive. we are always misunderstood, sigh. but i don't regret being an Arts student. i find so much more meaning in studying the likes of literature as compared to physics. the timelessness of poetry, drama and other classical works is astounding. i guess being the minority, there's nothing much i can complain about. well at least the teacher made up with other funny sound bites.

econs was a frenzy. like i didnt stop writing. it was just so tiring. i'm in this holiday mood whereby there's no sense of urgency to study or anything. i don't know why but As just seem so far. it's easy knowing what i lack but hard to make up for it. that's why i hate myself. i'm in this constant flux between doing what is right and doing what i want to do. in the end, the time spent choosing, or otherwise known as procrastination, pretty much takes up all the time i have. next thing i know, the sun has set and it's time to sleep, or attempt to at least.

i've been rolling in bed for hours these past few days. i guess the absence of my brother could be playing tricks on my sleep cycle. he brings about a calming effect i guess. although of course i hate it when he's drunk and taking up every inch of the bed(s). thank god that's a rare occurence. but strangely, i miss the sound when he grinds his teeth in his sleep. the room just seem so much more empty.

i don't know why i can't sleep.