i like to watch my mum and dad interacting. you see, mum's a much more lively character who's not afraid to show her love by means of, er, PDA. while on the other hand, dad comes from a strict and somewhat rigid family. in other words, he is like e complete opposite from mum - reserved, introverted, conservative. so for example, mum sometimes would behave like a love-struck teenage girl and try to hold or hint at dad to hold her hand (well of course dad being dad usually fails to get the hint). then she'd resort to hold/hugging his arm, like wad xinyi would do last time lol. its an endearing sight considering how sometimes their r/s is on and off. at times, it even feels like they are together cos of us (children). well, i'm glad that its not that bad now.

anyhow, it set me thinking about how romantic relationship evolves. first, it'd start with curiousity. oh boy, the "when a man meets a woman" feeling. it starts out by the want to get to know each other. and of course, someone has to do something. after which, (though some people skip this step) the friendship begins. if there's chemistry or 'fireworks', it'll blossom into courtship. well, this is perhaps the most conventional initial stage of any relationship. the key here is how curiosity spurs on actions being taken to nurture something.

next, the honeymoon period. the talks of forever, a love that is able to transcend all boundaries till the end of time. everything seems perfect and nothing else matter really. this is perhaps the most exciting part of the relationship.

after a year (or two), the relationship becomes somewhat like a habit. it's hard to kick cos one's so used to it. spending time together, talking on the phone, replying messages seem like second nature. there are still hints of passion though, depending on both parties. it takes two hands to clap. (perhaps only specific to my case) but this is where fatigue starts setting in, especially if you are always on the giving end. mum says it's better to be on the giving end (well of course not referring to r/s la), but imo, that's only true for everything else but relationships.

as time goes on, habits become a form of commitment. this is where relationships go down to path - the end or the beginning. i don't think i've reached this stage so i don't know how it feels. but from analyzing my parents r/s, i realised it takes a lot of effort to keep things going. 'things' referring to passion, active love. it is at this juncture where if one's not careful, love degenerates into nothing more than a habit. it's like "okay it's the weekend, it's her/his day" kinda stuff. then again, my sis somehow manages to keep the flame burning. on the other hand, i think tracy is getting tired dating my brother. lol, my mum was giving her 'lowdown' on bro's r/s and i told her "whoever date kor will also be damn sian and pissed cos he's so bochap and blur". hahha. poor tracy. then again he's ultra nice and cherrylene once couldn't stop kajiaoing me about him. okay maybe that's exaggerated but u get the idea. lol.

i don't know but i just felt like randomly going through the process of beginning and maintaining a relationship. i'm certainly not a maestro at it but i suppose it's nice having someone to love. it's like there's an outlet to transform all the shit that i'm going through into something more productive. but an abundance of it, will of course, lead to overdose. it harms not only the loved but the one loving as well. i guess it's always better to be in the shoes of the former, but somehow i always end up as the latter.

alright, i've spent enough time doing things i could do another time. at least everything's off my chest. i don't feel as good as i want to feel but its enough to keep me through studying math for the night. good luck everyone.